i SURVIVED! after 6 days of work w/o off.
whining all the way.

SGH should be known as Tertiary Acute Nursing Home.
why? cos all my patients are from nursing home.
only better in here because
they can press call bells and everything will be done for them.

Aging population.
sigh, singaporeans are being too pampered.
even those who're independent on their own, wants to make use of us.

all that i'm learning now is to protect myself,
just in case of "fire"... (lawsuits. )
my documentations are the only thing that can save me.
nobody can help me. only myself.

*whining, whining, whine whine whine...*

hehe, and feelings....
are just like.. a cuppa leaving there for too long, turnin cold..



=Carpe Diem -
But maybe it's time to sit in a cosy little corner and let the world pass by-



cries out of exhaustion.
i want to cry.

i am always telling myself,
one day...
one day i will like nursing.

but everyday going to ward,
having to attend to patient's call bells , making me so depressed.
every 15min press one time. want milo, biscuit, clear stoma bag, urinal.

why is it that there's so many call bells?
the patients this few days are so irritating.
NO threshold of pain at all. i'm only pulling the bedsheet, not even touching him AT ALL! he say, why u so rough, very pain. i'm not even touching him!! i think he's replying for the bed. zzz.

the work is only adding up,
i know i'm only handling 2 cases.
but i need to write my fking report can!
stop asking me to attend to call bells.
i'm only a student, not superwoman!

i cant let this go on.


i must start loving nursing now. now! STAT!
i hate myself for not commiting.
i only wants to leave the ward for as long as possible.
sigh, even during school time.. i cant wait to go off after class.

when can i start loving what i'm doing????

i really wanted to smile and be friendly with the staffs there.
but i just cant smile ... for i'm constantly thinking that i'm at work. i hate this pressure.
i hate myself being so lack of confidence, always shunning away from sisters or those staffs with high ranks.

i think i am not doing a good job too.
why am i so blur???

i need to talk. does anyone out there know what i'm going thru??

i even dreamt that i was at work.

wtf.

i need my vital signs checked.
CT scan too, for my brain waves.