first day of 14weeks of PRCP (in-campus)


i'm worried/anxious/frighten/having butterflies in my tummy.
about PRCP.

must be that pre-PRCP-depression.

our lecturers showed us a video clip
on how the students felt after PRCP.

it seem like,
everyone have to go through that endless tears and sobs
before they can pass out as a staff nurse.
gonna have lots of torment sufferings.

just the thought of it...
makes me moody. :(

day by day as it approaches, ( GO AWAY!!)

i've been posted to colo-rectal ward.
WARD 47.

coming to an end of 2009.
we're already into that festive season.
halloween, christmas, new year, valentine's, my bday, cny,...
sigh, and you know what,
i'll be having attachment!! PRCP. thank you.
i dont even need to think about celebrating for the next 2 consecutive years.
i'll be out working, busy making money.
wasting my youth for the sake of having blings blings in my pocket.

anyways... i have not planned to celebrate any of those mentioned above.
remembering last 2 x'mas was spent in dreamlands.

sigh, why am i getting so pessimistic?
i'm so emo.
right now i'm thinking..
whats the point of living?
busy making money,
spent on expenses..
not even quality of life.
i cant afford to spree or get to enjoy much luxuries. because i have to save for rainy days.
no, not even rainy days. but to save to pay for my poly school fees.

you earn to make a living.
to sustain life.
are you even enjoying every single bit of it?

i'm so envious of people not having to care so much about savings.
to spend all they have.
or children from financially stable families.
they get to spend spend spend, having fun of their lives.
or girls having their loved ones spending on them.

why am i working so hard?
what am i working for?
where are my goals?

how did i get started initially?
how am i going to move on from here?


argh. i'm heading to bed.