if you really think i'm DRIVING you to corners then so be it .
if you think by keeping silence wouldn't HURT me then just go ahead .

truth is . . .
it hurt to the max. when you choose not to tell me a single thing .
because i'm frustrated and desperate to solve this .
i would rather be hurt , then to be in this pathetic state , darn hopeless not knowing what to do .

you dont know me at all .
i'm not as weak as you think , yes i may appear to be very affected with what you say .
least . . . i know what's going on and able to solve it .
its gonna affect me even more if you continue keeping mum .



P.S :
1) i know you said jaren had his past . but for whatever ^#$%@ he had in the past doesn't give him the right to do such thing ( allowing his friend to talk to us in msn and not apologising ) .
if you say jaren's friends protecting jaren , then there's no link / rights that he can allow his friends to talk to us in msn and not apologising . this is regarding his character in making friends with us . NOT about his past or friends protecting him .

2) u said in your sms : " i Duno hw to sae also . Juz e coldness tat i FELT frm u. if u really respect my decision,and Wana me b happy,and when u noe i had chosen ja.shldnt u b nice to him as fren or even forgive him for wad he said so long as he gif me happiness? isnt tat sisters always does? hw would u feel if i dun like ur bf?"

i am your sister , i respect your decision and i want you to be happy . but the guy is jaren and he did not respect me .
maybe i'm self-centered too , you cant force me to forgive him .
sisters are not dummies . sisters have their rights .
IF you dont like my bf then so be it . like i said , maybe he aint a good friend but he can be a good lover for you .

3) if you still remember what u said in your tag .

jes- ping: haaa well i was thinking abt it on one morning. bt den wo kan de kai la. i guess we both belong to dif world ba. what we think are always dif. bt can just be listening ear only

jes- ping: and is kind of untrue tat "dun let guy affect our friendship" cos i felt the coldness from you. if it wasnt tat feeling, i wouldnt haf feel tat we had barrier since then x)

then , u said

jes- ping: urmm maybe i sound like im protecting him. bt seriously im nt. cos theers is sth tat you wont understand. cos you doesnt Noe abt his past etc... he is nt insincere actually. you and ger protecting me.

jes- ping: so his fren does the same thing. furthermore JA is a soft hearted guy. another pattern of me. -_- seriously, both of us dun care what ppl think of us le. hahahaa. well well, our drfit has nth to do


jes- ping: with JA. just tat you and me has lots of misunderstanding since the start. The thing abt you dancing and etc... we both think differently which upset me. nt abt the guys really.

arent you contradicting yourself , my dear ?
you read the red highlighted words yourself .

then in the convo below , you assumed that its me being paranoid .


jes- ping: hahhaa donut LOL.rmb you once sms me abt you able to dance and you dance well and you thot tat im being sarcastic to you cos you were being over paranoid?

`strangejp: yes , i might be paranoid , but i dont see the link here . basically u felt cold from me and it is due to something else . so what's ur problem with me ?

`strangejp: i asked u why , u said u dont know how to say . then u expect me to know when u dont knw how to tell me ?

`strangejp: okay, let me tell u . i am cold to you is because u're talkin to me abt ja . u asked me to forgive him , i cant accept your request . other than tt i am not cold towards u .

`strangejp: because we got nothing else to talk abt other than abt ur love life . and like wad u said .u were busy with ur red cross n stuff. i understand tt. i nvr disturb u also.

jes- ping: Nt tat i doesnt wan to tell you. juz tat i doesnt wan to hurt you with what i gota say and its nt e time cos you stressing with ur polymates.
jes- ping: andd seriously i duno where the coldness from etc...


WTH YOU TALKING ABOUT ?

from COLDNESS due to GUYS ,
then no, due to MENTALITY ,
then ask you wad abt mentality , u tell me tt i'm stressed enough , u dont wanna ADD burden .
then lastly . . . u say u seriously dont know where the coldness come from .

THE ONLY THING I WANNA TELL YOU IS , THE COLDNESS I GAVE YOU IS BECAUSE OF JAREN AND NOTHING ELSE .

i can say , i am paranoid because you're not telling me anything and you are unsure . you left me hanging , leading me to assume things . because you are unsure so you think i'm driving you to corners .