Why is every thing so confusing?
Maybe Im just out of my mind

Yeah yeah yeah...

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't Know Who You are
But I
Im with you
Im with you...........


sometimes, i really wonder what had i done to deserve all these shit from people around me.
i really treasure my friends and all.
but they just cant see things in my point of view. they only wanted to have some extraordinary relations whereas all i wanted is a friend to care for. then, i will turn out to be the villain/ bitch to be hated by them. why cant we be just a normal friend or even buddies? must we turn out to be enemies?
as for some, they just don't know their limits. they only know how to joke around too much.. too much that we cant take it sometimes and when we shot back at them. they just fall never knew how to handle it. Again, i become the villain in this picture. i said something hurtful purposely because i was being 'suan-ed' all the time and i cant take it anymore.

people who treats me like a bitch or enemies.. i really wonder.. do u still care about me? would you still wanna know how am i doing..

as for myself.. i think i'm a boring person. umm, i dont play sports, i dont gamble, i dont play games. i got no idea what am i doing for the whole of my life. i'm such a boring person. how can i expect my friends to be fun and interesting to be with? i guess they will also feel bored and topic-less to chat with me. everybody's like so busy and i got nothing better to do here but to blog and talk to myself. i just love to chase people away when they approach me to talk.

i really got no idea why am i doing that. i cant be like this. i should have my own plans and think for my future and.. and... and..... be decisive in doing anything.
maybe... i've not gotten used to care for people.. not observant enough.. not a very good friend...
not everybody can get accept me for me.. but at least.. i'm happy enough that i still gt handful of friends and cousins to talk to.. my life wont be that bad rite? other than having awkwardness in between sometimes.. but i really hope to be a good friend to them like how they treated me. i always treasure my friends.. i thot i've changed a lot.. to be much more understanding as compared to the unreasonable old me. i thot i've become more caring.. yet i still never see the point that dates are very important.. now that i saw it.. i realised it.. its already too late to do anything about it.. and i don't know where should i start about clearing all the misunderstandings..

or should i just stay put and not doing anything about it.

Labels: Life struggling.