People in general no matter how cold & distant, do feel the need to be loved. Loved by a partner, friends, family. Somehow that feeling of being loved keeps us feeling warm & secured inside & in some ways, bring purpose & meaning to our everyday lives.
It is very easy to get carried away when we feel loved. Sometimes we so desperately are in search of someone to love us that when that person walks into our lives, we throw our whole being into that & give up everything else. We forget the world. We forget that the rest of the people that have been loving us are still loving us. We forget & ignore the fact that these people very people, have feelings too & do feel hurt when we suddenly don't care about the love they have been giving us. It is as if all this while they were just the doormats before someone else comes along. We forget that their love has been sustaining us all this while.
I have a couple of girlfriends that have come out of broken relationships only to realise that they don't have any friends left. My advice to them has always been this. Never give up your friends when you step into a new relationship. At the end of the day, a man-woman relationship is more fragile than a friendship. More easily broken & if that were to happen, it is your friends that will go the distance with you. It's your friends that will stand the test of time. & if you are in a quality relationship, maintaining friendships will not be of an issue with your partner. Of course I'm not saying that all friends are as loyal as that but the ones that are worth the trouble, you'll be able to tell. They'll be the ones that won't judge you for stupid decisions that you've made. The ones that keep their loyalty with you even if you decide to do something stupid or morally wrong. They will stay by your side even closer cos they know that when you fall, you'll need them to hold you. Basically they're the girlfriends that love you right back the way you love them. The ones that understand that girlfriend relationships are a two sided deal where we all do need each other at some point of our lives.
A common misconception is that you can't split yourself up in so many directions. But we fail to realise that friends do understand when we need to see them less. They just need a little maintenance & of course a little love too. They need to know that they're not forgotten. Afterall, if we can feel the need to be loved, so do our friends right?
Sadly, I do have girlfriends that disappear in a heart beat the moment a man appears in their life & come crawling back when they get their hearts broken. For me, that phase is over. I think I've been a sucker long enough. I give all of myself in friendships & only the well deserving ones that are worthy will continue to be an important part of my life. & girls, you do know who you are. I will always be here for you. Long after the tequila/vodka/dancing nights have died off, when we become wives & mothers & when we're grumpy & frumpy, I'll still be here cos you guys have stood the real test of time & gone the distance with me.
Like they say, "True friendship consists not in the multitude of friends but in their worth & value". Love you guys always...
"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing."
